You ever notice what the sky looks like after a real bad storm ? How, the winds are at peace and the corruption stands still? And your skin is met with the smooth and calm caress of the light winds. It’s almost a sweet sincere apology for the disaster that you just experienced.
Like there is a seed of hope ready to sprout and burst forth.
Unexpectedly I have found peace in this sorrowful moment. Like I remembered that death isn’t greater than eternity, I have joy in my heart knowing that my mother has been released from earth into heaven. There is no thank you that could fill the place of what you’ve done, for me, for every person you’ve encountered. You never gave your heart in pieces. I never thought I would lose my mother twice. My birth mother passed when I was three , and my mother who cared for and raised me passed when I was twenty three. I have peace in my heart, but I don’t know why. It was almost like God was preparing my heart for this. I had dreams of you being free and happy, and not remembering me, and it was ok with me that you didn’t remember because at least I knew you where happy. I would constantly tell God how much I missed and loved you. I would tell him that I didn’t want you to leave before you could see me at least complete one milestone, like graduating from college. Mabel was the name you wore. Though you never liked it , it was a perfect fit for you. Your name means “easy to love; beautiful or loveably in the Latin language. My mother was a wonderful woman. She loved God and people. She went over her means if it meant giving someone else a better opportunity at life. She was determined to be the hands and feet of Christ. I was trying to postpone writing this because I didn’t want her to pass. I didn’t want these words to mean her end. Her love was unmatchable to none. Growing up I didn’t realize that. My mom showed her love through action. She showed her value of me by taking care of me and coming to my band performances handing out Gatorade. I didn’t know there where different avenues of love. As I grew older and fonder that people show love differently I understood that she loved me very much. My mother didn’t carry me but she carried me, she was the womb that facilitated the development of my progression. Her care alone was the incubation of a greater call to destiny in my life. Through her nursing she birth forth the woman that I am today. Her face alone was the promise that unraveled into hope. I know what love looks like because of her. What real love truly embodies,It’s sacrifices that are inconvenient. It’s a life fulfilled in the empty and shattered needs of another, even if they don’t belong to you. As the grass withers and the flowers fade, I know that her love and works are eternally indebted in our hearts. May we walk away knowing in all that she represented Christ alone was the cause. It is well with my soul it is well.